The Complete Guide to Writing Like P.G. Wodehouse: A Masterclass in Literary Effervescence

In which we delve deeper into the arcane arts of creating prose that fizzes like freshly-poured champagne

The Fundamental Philosophy

Before we dive into the nitty-gritty, one must understand that Wodehouse’s world operates on a different plane of reality altogether. It exists in a perpetual Edwardian summer afternoon where the most pressing concern is whether one’s spats are properly aligned and if Aunt Dahlia will approve of one’s choice of waistcoat.

The Architecture of Prose

The Sentence Structure Masterclass

Wodehouse’s sentences come in three distinct varieties, each serving a specific purpose:

1. The Long Meander
   • Begins with a simple observation
   • Wanders through several qualifying clauses
   • Takes unexpected detours through metaphor country
   • Eventually arrives at a surprising destination

Example: “The sun had risen upon what promised to be a day of unrelenting pleasantness, the sort that makes elderly gentlemen want to skip through meadows and young curates question their vocation in favour of becoming professional tennis players, when Bertie Wooster, having consumed a rather ambitious breakfast, found himself confronting what can only be described as a situation.”

2. The Sharp Jab
   • Brief, punchy observations
   • Often follows a longer sentence
   • Delivers the punchline

Example: “He was not pleased. Indeed, he quivered like blancmange in an earthquake.”

3. The Rhythmic Roll
   • Contains internal rhyme or alliteration
   • Often uses repetition for effect
   • Creates a musical quality

Example: “He prowled and prowled and prowled, looking more like a perturbed poet than a peer of the realm.”

The Language Laboratory (Extended Edition)

Vocabulary Management

Essential Word Categories:

1. Upper-Class Slang

• What ho!
• Right-o
• Don’t you know
• Rather!
• By Jove
• Old bean/old thing/old egg

2. Creative Verbs

• Shimmer
• Oscillate
• Prowl
• Biff
• Toddle
• Saunter

3. Descriptive Compounds

• Soup-stained
• Brain-fevered
• Love-smitten
• Aunt-haunted
• Mentally-negligible

The Art of the Simile

Wodehouse’s similes require specific ingredients:

1. The Unexpected Comparison
   • Take an ordinary situation
   • Compare it to something completely unexpected
   • Ensure both elements are instantly recognisable

Example: “He looked like a man who has discovered that someone has filled his hot water bottle with cold rice pudding.”

2. The Extended Metaphor
   • Begin with a simple comparison
   • Develop it through several iterations
   • Add increasingly absurd details

Example: “The situation developed like a photograph in a darkroom—first a vague outline, then gradually revealing itself to be something that would have made a strong man weep, and finally emerging as the sort of disaster that would have caused Attila the Hun to sit down and write a strongly-worded letter to his MP.”

Character Construction

The Voice Matrix

Each character type requires specific linguistic markers:

1. The Wooster Type

• Liberal use of “what?”
• Frequent literary misquotations
• Tendency to add “-ish” to words
• Inability to properly conclude sentences

2. The Jeeves Type

• Precise, measured speech
• Literary quotations (accurate)
• Subtle implications
• Preference for “indeed, sir” and “precisely”

3. The Aunt Type

• Imperial pronouncements
• Classical allusions
• Tendency to bellow
• Liberal use of nephew-directed criticism

Dialogue Construction

Good Wodehousian dialogue should:

1. Mirror Social Class

• Upper class: “I say, old thing…”
• Servants: “Very good, sir.”
• Middle class: Attempts to sound upper class but fails

2. Include Running Jokes

• References to past disasters
• Recurring phrases
• Inside jokes between characters

Plot Engineering: The Advanced Course

The Triple-Layer Approach

1. The Surface Problem

• Usually trivial (stealing a cow creamer, avoiding an engagement)
• Must seem important to characters
• Should be easily resolvable (but won’t be)

2. The Complications Layer

• Minimum of three interconnected problems
• Each solution creates two new problems
• Must involve at least one case of mistaken identity

3. The Resolution Layer

• All problems solve each other
• Preferably involves coincidence
• Should seem both inevitable and impossible

Essential Plot Elements

1. The Catalyst

• Often a letter or telegram
• Could be an unexpected visitor
• Sometimes a newspaper article

2. The Escalation

• Series of increasingly absurd misunderstandings
• Addition of new characters at crucial moments
• Complications that pile up like cards in a house

3. The Crisis Point

• Everything goes spectacularly wrong
• All plots converge
• Appears completely unsolvable

4. The Resolution

• Unexpected but logical solution
• Often through minor character intervention
• Should leave everyone satisfied except the villain

Advanced Techniques

The Art of the Aside

1. Narrative Interruptions

• Break the fourth wall
• Address reader directly
• Offer commentary on events

2. Flashbacks

• Usually to explain complicated backstory
• Often involve school days or previous schemes
• Should add complexity while appearing to explain

Environmental Description

1. Country House Settings

• Focus on peculiar architectural features
• Mention gardens and grounds
• Include at least one suspicious butler

2. London Scenes

• Gentlemen’s clubs
• Fashionable restaurants
• Quiet streets in Mayfair

Final Advanced Tips

1. Timing is Everything

• Build rhythm through sentence length variation
• Use pauses for comic effect
• Perfect the delayed punchline

2. The Rule of Three

• Three attempts before success
• Three main characters in conflict
• Three interweaving plot lines

3. The Importance of Names

• Should be slightly ridiculous but believable
• Often include hyphenation for upper classes
• Must be instantly memorable

Remember: Wodehouse reportedly spent decades perfecting his style, often rewriting passages up to ten times. One doesn’t simply dash off Wodehousian prose—one cultivates it, like a particularly temperamental orchid that requires just the right amount of sunshine, water, and encouraging words whispered at midnight.

And there you have it—a complete guide to writing like the master himself. Though, as Jeeves would undoubtedly murmur, “The art, sir, is in the execution rather than the explanation.”

Written while wearing a purple smoking jacket and attempting to prevent a small dog from stealing my cucumber sandwiches…